LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF

We commonly think of neighbors as the people who live near us, but Jesus meant it to include all humankind – even our enemies. Jesus told his famous parable of the Good Samaritan to make it clear that “love your neighbor” means to love all persons, everywhere – not just our friends and allies.

Jesus calls us to remember that we all are Gods children, just as He loves all his people and is willing to forgive their sins; we must be willing to forgive others who have done wrong to us.

Anger can consume us with hatred and block out the love of God. The need to forgive is not some ideal that we cannot hope to attain. Forgiveness is necessary to free us from the dark cloud of anger and resentment that can literally destroy our own lives. We cannot afford to wait for the other person to repent and apologize. Unless we let go of our anger and the desire to punish or get even, love cannot enter our lives. If you desire to be loved, you need to give love, if you desire to be respected, you must give respect. If you want to be fulfilled in your life, we must share with others.

If we do not desire to be judged harshly, then we must not judge others so harshly.

I WAS STRAPPED IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

I don’t to this day know why I stayed so long. I saw all the signs, I knew this was not how I should live, but I still stayed. It started off with us walking each other to class in college. Either I would meet him after class or he would meet me after class. My days, and then my nights, were spent with him outside of class. We studied together; we went to parties together. After a while, I did not know how to breathe without him, he became my air.  As long as we were with each other alone, everything was all right.

When I would look at other men, he became furious, after a while the looks turned into slaps, black eyes, punches. I tried with all my might to turn my eyes away from the world around me and focus just on him. When he studied, I even stayed up under him. At first it was comforting, but later he became obsessive.

I saw him getting high, but I didn’t think it was a big deal. I had never used drugs or pills and I did not realize how addictive this would later become. We both graduated from college and I could not find a job, and so I went home – home without the person I had spent four years of undergraduate school. I ignored the abuse and focused on the great life we would have together. He was a mechanical engineer and I was an Elementary School teacher. I saw the big house, the cars, the social life, and the trips, and yes, the children. We would get married and that is when my eyes began to open. He was having affairs, and I just would not believe it. He began making trips from Texas to Pittsburgh and I later discovered he had found someone else. I just could not believe it. I began to drink and drink and drink. My world that I carved out was now falling apart, but I still tried to hang on. He stopped caring if I knew he was in other relationships. I finally decided that I deserved better than this. I would go back many times and things were worst.

I finally got up the courage to leave forever, and I did look back many times; but I knew, no matter what, I would never go back. I gradually got through the depression, the betrayals, lies and broken promises, and other toxic relationships, but slowly I began to become comfortable being alone for the first time. I began to like making my own way, making my own decisions, and walking in my own purpose. I learned to love myself more each day, whether I am with someone or not. I got use to taking my own self out. I learned how to love me more.  I know I have not gotten there yet, but I learned loving myself was the greatest gift I could give myself. 

Share your stories so that other women will learn from them and recognize that they don’t have to stay in a toxic relationship.

MARRIED TO THE JOB: THE STORY OF A SINGLE CORPORATE WOMAN

Sometimes we think living in a corporate environment shields us from toxic relationships.  The reason we sometimes work so many hours is we are lonely and all that we have is our careers. They come with a price. It keeps us from thinking about that one man/woman you really loved that you thought loved you but didn’t. You felt used, stupid, and you just knew one day he/she would love you the way you loved him/her but it did not work out that way. If you spend all of your time working you won’t have to think about how lonely you are. You are tweeting, texting, email, writing proposals, attending various events but as soon as you lay down you realize again you are alone.

 
You have decided your judgment is impaired; all of the men/women you have been involved with were toxic. They were not committed to a relationship, you felt like a booty call and it made you feel cheap or you decided you will never ever be in a serious relationship again.

The fact of the matter is you don’t trust yourself anymore. You don’t trust someone can love you the right way and you are unwilling to try – afraid of being left alone again. You close your eyes so tight that you cannot even see any man/woman who may be interested in you.  For you it is not worth the try.

Who else would want you? You are great at your job, but when it comes to relationships you just don’t trust it.

You can begin again if you would just first learn how to love you, have confidence in yourself as it comes to relationships, like you have in your career.  Try figuring out the kind of man you have been attracted to and figure out what in your choice is healthy and not toxic. Don’t be afraid to date, maybe just go out to dinner, a movie and if you are not comfortable meet them their until you trust their intentions. Don’t be shy about asking questions and checking them out. If there is nothing to hide and the person is really interested he/she will not mind. Is there anyone out there that has some other opinion?

Raising the Standards

•  Raise the standard of the kind of person you want to do
•  Raise the standard of your relationship with God
•  Raise the standard of your relationship with others
•  Raise the standard of your ability to serve
•  Raise the standard of your everyday choices and every detail be the best you can be

We know that lying, stealing, murder, hatred, and all sorts of other things that the Bible condemns are all right for most people so long as they think it to be so.  The Bible has taken a back seat to some other standards.

You can call sin what you want to call it; renaming it does not change the fact that it is sin.  There are three standards that all of us face in our lives:

1.  The standard of popular opinion. The standard of popular opinion preaches to believers, just go with the flow.
2.  The Standard of feeling and emotion. The standard of feeling and emotion says: It just feels right.
3.  The standard of God’s word. The standard of God’s Word is found in 2 Timothy 16.17. It says: "All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for righteous."

In every person’s life there are always areas that could use improvement. If we would just pause for a few moments each day and reflect upon our lives we would begin to see those areas that need improvement.  Those improvements come only when we are willing to raise the standard in our lives. All of us could stand a little raising of the standard in our lives, weather it is our loyalty, integrity, obedience, attitude, or our health and careers.

Don’t You Quit

Pressure will make you weary feeling the pressure; the enemy wants you to stop what you are doing.
When you study the law you find there are legal pressures; if you played sports you know there is pressure to perform; you know that if you play on defense, there is pressure to hold the offense; as Christians, as leaders, as pastors, as officer, people of God, there is a pressure placed on us.

Some of us would have quit, under some pressure. You don’t have to be put in jail, no one has to physically beat you to walk away from God. All it takes is someone in the church to hurt our feelings; someone to say one unkind thing, one comment to make us walk away, one gossip story to make us give up;  preacher preaching something you didn’t want to hear, because they happen to walk down your street, one situation to make us give up, one statement and we are ready to quit;  somebody didn’t call you when you were sick; somebody forgot to give you credit for the work you have done;
 On the days you want to give up, you've got to say: but for me and my house we will praise the name of the lord.

If you praise from your heart – you make God stop whatever God’s doing to listen to you when you praise under pressure – you don’t have time to make something up; you don’t have to think about what God did yesterday because right now the pressure is so great, its off the charts; don’t you quit, don’t you sit down, praise God under your pressure and don’t give up, your breakthrough is on the way.

MOVE – YOU ARE BLOCKING MY FLOW Luke 8:43-48

Oh, I know that sounds so disrespectful. It might sound a little hard, unsophisticated, and unchristian (with all of our holiness); but the truth of the matter is our Jesus is getting ready to go to the cross. Not for what he did, but for what we did; and he was provided for us. And I am so sorry if I hurt your feelings, BUT I AM TRYING TO LIVE A LIFE, so that my living will not be in vain.

MOVE...YOU ARE BLOCKING MY FLOW. I had to learn that sometimes you have to tell folks who come at you with negativity: GET OUT OF MY AIR; ALL THIS IS MY SPACE, AND I HAVE GIVEN MYSELF TO JESUS; SO THIS IS ME AND THE LORD'S SPACE, AND YOU JUST CAN'T COME AT ME ANY OLD WAY, ANYMORE.

TELL SOMEBODY: DON’T MESS WITH ME – I’VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.
So, MOVE...YOU ARE BLOCKING MY FLOW.

Prayers For Lent

Week 1 – A New Start – February 10th

What is Lent?

Lent is a Christian season of self-examination and contemplation. The Lent season of the early church was to prepare new converts for baptism and today focuses on our relationship with God, often selecting to give up something or to volunteer to devote themselves for others.

Lent is a season of forty days, excluding Sundays, which commence on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday. The word Lent is from the Anglo Saxon word “lencten” meaning “spring.  Lent commemorates the time that Jesus was in the wilderness, perseverance through the temptation of Satan in preparation of his ministry.

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is the beginning day of Lent, where penitential season is adhered to by many Christians. It is not clear the exact date of Ash Wednesday but it is either the month of February or March. On Ash Wednesday, Christians attend worship services and ashes are placed on their foreheads.

Ashes are viewed throughout Christian history as a symbol of humility and sacrifice for those who wear them.

Week 2 –February 17^th

A Prayer of Self-Reflection -

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences and failing to achieve anything useful.” Margaret J. Wheatley

Scripture: Ephesians 4.22-24

“to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Week 3- February 24^th

A Prayer for Guidance

“Don’t entrust your future on others’ hands. Rather make decisions by yourself with the help of God’s guidance. Hold your beliefs so tight and never let go of them.”

Scripture--Psalm 25.4-5

“Teach me your ways, O Lord; make them known to me. Teach me to live according to your truth, for you are my God, who saves me. I always trust in you.”

1 - O gracious and holy Father,

2 - Give me wisdom to perceive you,

3 - Intelligence to understand you,

4 - Diligence to seek you,

5 - Patience to wait for you,

6 - A heart to meditate on you,

7 - And a life to proclaim you.

--Adapted from a Prayer of Saint Benedict

Week 4 - March 2

A Prayer for God's Protection

“Safety comes in our nearness to God, not in our distance from our enemies.”

Psalms  46.1-3;11

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. The Lord Almighty is with us the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

--

Week 5 – March 9

A Prayer for Peace

“Peace  is not merely a distant goal we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” Dr. Martin Luther King, II

Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God.”

Scripture:  Philippians 4.6

Week 6 - March 16

A Prayer for Moments of Weakness

1 – Lord Jesus Christ, by your patience and suffering you hallowed earthly pain,

2 – Be near me in my time of weakness and pain;

3 – Sustain me by your grace, that my strength and courage may not fail;

4 – Heal me according to your will;

5 – Help me always to believe that what happens to me here is of little account if you hold me in eternal life

6 – My Lord and my God.

7 – Amen.

--The Book of Common Prayer

“Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me and out of the deep waters. Let not the water flood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the deep swallow me up and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.”

--Psalm 69.14-15

A Prayer of Renewal

START ASKING GOD TODAY, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO –TO RENEW MYSELF; WHAT GOD WILL YOU HAVE ME TO FOCUS ON? WHAT DIRECTION GOD SHOULD I GO? WHAT SHOULD I NOT DO Today? I want to be renewed, I want to live right, I want to serve well, but I cannot do my best, if I am not feeling my best. Help me right now.

And I promise you, that as you live a better life, spiritually and physically, financially, emotionally God says
IN ISAIAH 41.17-20
When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them; I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valley; I will make the wilderness a pool of water.
That they may see, and know and consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord hath done this.